Life changes quickly. It's almost unfortunate sometimes that we have to change with it.
From friends to lovers to awkward acquaintances, back to friends and then just two people wishing for the past to come back. Changes in relationships are possibly some of the worst things in my life, especially when emotion is involved.
Right now feels like one of those times, although I can't pinpoint why...Anyway, this next piece attempts to capture it all by playing off of my uncertainty and blending it with some Fall Out Boy lyrics.
“Pete
Rose”
(It's a story about cheating. Get it?)
I
walk into the room. You’re splayed out on the couch, begging me to come closer.
“C’mon,” you whisper, “have a taste.” You lick your lips and the universe
leans in to catch my response.
“Sounds
delicious,” I state with a smirk. Give up on conscious thoughts. I’ve no need
for my brain. All I want is to become closer to who you are—lie closer to you.
And so I creep closer. I straddle you and cuddle you. Like a drug addict, my
conscience must’ve gone out the window with the intoxicating feel of your lips
against mine; the alluring smell of that perfume you shower in before each of
our meetings.
My
mind’s stuck on the possibility of getting inside…inside that mind of yours.
But I swear I wouldn’t…I shouldn’t…I couldn’t…I can’t seem to resist your
charm. Your naked body against mine. Your warm breath against my neck and soft
voice urging me on. All of it sends me into a fervor. “Harder…” You gasp. “I
want it rough.” I attend only to your needs, for my thoughts are concerned with
the longevity of this affair.
I
groan in pleasure but know I come second in this two man race for your love.
After
all, does your husband know what we do? Does he see our heated embrace in your
eyes each night? Does he…Does he even know the words that could stop me cold?
You
promised he hurt you, that he means nothing, and you need something new. Still, I have to
promise myself that I’ll never fall into this trap. Oh, how I love you…I need
you…I want you, but I could never end up like him. Although, probably, behind
my back I already have…
Now
you sigh with that layer of sweat upon your skin. No doubt you’re now thinking
about him… “That was great!” you exclaim with a smile before thrusting once
more oh so teasingly. A smile is drawn upon my face with the ecstasy held
tightly between our loins.
A
car door slams outside. “I thought you said he wouldn’t be home for another few
hours,” I start with terror.
“I…He
wasn’t supposed to be. I don’t know what’s going on.” Fear enters your eyes as
you hand me back my clothes. “Here put these on. I’ll distract him while you
sneak out.” I know the routine, but it always stings to hear it come from you
each time.
“Tempest in a teacup”
for lack of a better phrase. The chaos that follows reminds me of a race to escape death. “Jess! I’m home!” your husband yells in the next room over. The
way you clean up…You’d think he’d suspect something…Why be with someone so
dense, hun? Why…Why…Why…Have you ever thought that maybe you peaked early?
He’s
seduced as he comes through the door. I can almost hear the sound of his
fingers sliding against your soft skin, his lips colliding with yours. It makes
me sick. Does he even understand what’s happened? Can he guess the words that I
long to hear?
No,
he can’t…How could he understand our love when he doesn’t even know I exist?
And, so, I creep out the back, wondering if it’s all worth it.
I
swore I wouldn’t end up like him. Yet, in a sick, sad way, I already have. You
cheat him for me but still cheat me for him. Just know that I’ll still be here.
(I’m not going anywhere.) But next time be sure to keep a calendar—this way
you’ll know the next he’ll come through. No matter how long it takes…Oh,
darling, just know that I understand what you’re going through.
Fate drives me.
~Chris
