A Trial by Fire

"Flying" by *MindTuber

For anyone following me on Tumblr, this may not exactly be a "new" piece, but it's too relevant to leave to one blog alone. 

Life often leaves us in scenarios too dangerous to stay. It's unfortunate that we may stay in them regardless. To that point, I continue writing and fleshing out why it is that such pain is all too enjoyable. Yet, regardless, the heart which beats in my chest can't possibly hold out against such misery for long. 

Maybe that's why the title of this piece makes so much sense...

"Fuck..."

The times, they flew away
With the sanity I’d been holding
For two people, me and you

It’s no walk in the park
Only a jury by fire, with acts
Like you never knew

Tired thoughts, drift away
To the sea containing hope
Or painful years lost

With one word, it’s all lost
And, no, I can’t take the tears
Or the unbelievable cost

~Chris

Blood

"My Life" by DarkRaven

Cutting is a controversial issue with which I know all too well. As I've gotten older pain has strangely become more pleasurable in a way that I can't describe. Luckily, cutting is an action I've left to my past.

However, I thought it might be interesting to write about the issue in a different light. Let me know what you think.

"Reminiscent Stains"

I take the blade between my fingers. How cool the metal feels. How much my mind yearns for its bite. Still, it's reassuring to have solid mortality squeezed between my digits. “Maybe just once more,” I think. “I want to remember.”

My palm against the casing, the tip of my finger pressed hard against the back of the blade, my focus drops to my hip. The caring blade kisses my skin, leaving a touch of red love as it slides down a few inches. I squeeze my eyes shut and my heart skips a beat as the rush of endorphins fills my brain with a pleasurable sting. “Yes...”

Looking down at the wonderful mark, I smile happily before I carefully make another, horizontal mark near the top of the blade's trail. A crimson cross stands out upon my light-tan skin. Liquid life trickles in tiny, timid drops down my side. My mind rejoices at the new addition to my canvas.

 




Life hates my pleasure.

~Chris

Going nowhere

"Lost" by iNeedChemicalX

Hey guys it's Aulene!!!

This is my new piece. I am feeling very confused at where I am in my life right now. I'm at a rough spot in my life and don't really know what to do or where to go from here. So, I am just lost in my thoughts.

Have you every been in a situation like this? Please comment and let me know. Tell me your experience with this. I would love to know I am not the only one who gets lost some times.

Buy our book! Life In Fiction: Words From the Underrated.

Thank you all for your wonderful support!!! <3 font="">

“Going nowhere”

Can you feel it?

(We're going nowhere)

That feeling

Of running

But you can never find it?

Yet you still try...

...To run...

...To jump...

...To crawl...

Just to get there

To that one goal

Maybe it's a spot on a team

An “A” on a paper

Maybe your other half

You always feel so close

But just out of reach.

That look in your eyes

Of loss

Giving up and losing the fight

It's almost over

Your eyes close

Then you just drift...

...Drift off into blind bliss...

Give up

We live our life,

As if we are ready to die,

But it's almost over.

You don't want to give up—

Not yet—

Not when what you desire is so close

Signal the sirens

Wake up!

FIGHT

For what you want

For what you need

You may feel like you're going nowhere

But that's only if you give up the fight.



~Aulene

~APLIW



Just wait

Sometimes you look at life and think: "Is this all there is? Am I going to be doing this my whole life?"

That's when the best part of life jumps in.

Unexpected accomplishments, memories, and people drop into your life.

You could say it's God's way of saying: "I'm not finished with you yet."

Just remember the dull times and the trials; just make the good times seem a whole lot brighter.



Cheers.

Remember

Recapping memories can be a sad time and a beautiful time. They will always be with you in flash backs even if you don't want them to.

"How Memories Behave"

Remember... Remember... The word sings like a chant in my head. What is the word remember anymore? It's just a key to the past. Repressed memories, sadness, joy, and loneliness play as symptoms saying the word. The past never seemed so alive and welcome as it disguises itself as a memory it plays in your head like a movie. Then you take off its mask and it's just another tear that comes out of your eye.

The happy feelings are gone just remembering the moments, they never feel the same way as they happened. Trying to create new ones just seems to fill the void, replacing the old. Getting the same dose. One moment it's there and the next it's gone. Why does it have to end? Why did it happen? Why do I have to realize the pain?




~Sabrina Black
APLIW

Self Centered

I'm lost, and destine never to be found,
Down and out not knowing where I'm going next.
Hearing you’re with her is like a hell in my mind,
Blanking out all my thoughts.

                But I’m slowly finding my way.
                My heart soars with the possibilities,
                of who I could be.
                My creativity coming back to me.

Just knowing that you're better with her than me,
Kills every inch of my soul.
I'm not the girl I was before,
And I'll never be that girl again.

          

                 The things that may have brought me to tears
                 have become my biggest strengths.
                 I have to thank you,
                 For ruining me.

Hearing your name,
Makes me draw a blank.

  

                My mind colored with new ideas,
               That blank canvas splattered with neon

Hearing your voice brings tears,
Knowing you don't love me,
Brings that irreplaceable shatter,
That makes my chest tighten.

                I can finally hear your voice,
                and know everything will be okay.
                Shard by shard,
                I’m slowly being put back together

I've lost you for good,
And I'm not sure what to do.

               I’ve found myself,
               and I have a bright future.

~Audrey

Me

I've been running away for so long.

Running away from this small whispering in my mind.

Which I now recognize as the truth.

The truth about myself.

This truth that I am a writer.

I've been trying so hard to become someone I’m not.

Disguising my lack of identity in the spirit of “trying new things”.

Yet with each new hobby discovered, I was one step closer at burying my true self.

Never to be found again.

 The truth never gave up fighting for me.

The truth revealed that I am a thinker, not a musician, singer, nor anything else;

but me.  

Life is beautiful

You don't have to be restrained to the negatives of life. A famous thing to say is, "Well that's life." But it is said in such a sour tone.

Life, its full of new and passing away the old. People coming and going. Born, dying. New memories outshining the old.

This week I had the privilege to stay in the smoky mountains. It was so quiet and surreal up there. I didn't want to move from where I was when I sat down on a hilly side of the mountain. From where I was I could see mountains for miles and trees of all colors. This past week I forgot about the election, my worries about working on the holiday, and financial issues. I breathed in that clear air and for a moment I was in heaven, I was set at ease, full of peace. The beauty was bigger than my problems. I came to the realization that life can be something I take as an opportunity for adventure, the bad times are the challenges that I will overcome and in the end they won't matter. 

"Beauty overcomes the ugly, Happiness overcomes the sorrow, and Hope overcomes the doubt."

Sparks

You know how to light up my life, brighter than a north star in the black western sky.

You pull at my heart and have me falling more and more each day.


You feel what I feel and its not like anything I've experienced.

You, You, You.


So much to say about you, words can't fathom.

Your love is deep and true. You cannot deceive. You are real. That's the best part.

Life with you is a dream without being in the dream and waking up.

_________________________________________________________________________________

A new storm

Hey it's Sabrina Black for this piece the inspiration comes from a struggling past full of mistakes that I've seen with people around me but for me its the mistakes that anger my heart. You look back and think man why did I ever make that choice or why did this happen the way it did. Though life questions like this ponder and make you have a curious mind. You can't change the past but what you can do is change your future though what you have learned. Hope you guys like it  and can  relate to my piece.

“Storm”

Tears fall out of the night sky above souls that have pain in their hearts. Light that touches the bare ground strobes. The sound of power vibrates the earth. Like horses pounding wild and free—like thunder over the land—there’s a storm inside all of us.

No shelter, no protection, exists from the hidden pain inside all of us—a feeling of chains bound to our hands and feet. No one to turn to. A feeling of loneliness and no future. Can’t face another day without knives in your heart. For what you did is unforgiveable. Shame covers your heart; a darkness consumes you. Drowning in pain and suffocating slowly. Can’t turn back time.

Suddenly a ghostly shadow wearing white appears. He whispers: “Where are you, my child? I love you and now you are free and saved. The sun will come and dry up your tears.” This mysterious figure is saving you from the shadows of your sin. Take his hand and let him in your stormy heart.

You will find love. Love will come to you in ways you won’t expect it. Don’t give up. You’re too precious to quit. The light of another day will bring you new delights.

Now you write it.

Sabrina Black
APLIW

Whats wrong with me

"What's Wrong With Me?" by Poison~Theft

Hey guys it's Aulene!!!!! I wrote this piece a year ago but it applies to everyone in life everyday. We have all met people who make fun of you or dislike you for no reason. It made me really mad, but that is how life is.

I know you have had someone like this. Comment and let me know what has happened to you and your experience with it. I would love to connect with all of you a little more.

Thanks I love you all! Thanks for all the support! <3

Whats Wrong With Me?

What's wrong with me?

What did I do?

You ignore me

Make fun of me

For what?

Does it make you feel better

Feel good...

About you

You and your sad life

You have to torture me,

For what?

To be popular,

To seem cool?

Well I'm done

I just want to know why...

Why the laughs,

The looks,

The absence of a direct voice

But a crowd behind me

Is it the way I look,

The way I dress...

Maybe the way I talk?

Give me some reason

Something that gives you the right

So I ask one last time before I break...

What's wrong with me?

~Aulene

~APLIW

Chance

photo by WinterDruidess

Hey guys! It's Aulene once again! This is a brand new piece! I wrote this because I realized that so many people want to stick to their sterieotype or stay in the saftey of their click. I want to encourage everyone to step into someone else's shoes and see how they live and how they view things. The world is a lot bigger when you open up your mind to new possibilities. Comment please! Thank you! <3

Chance

Take a chance

On me

Believe

For once

In something new

In someone new

Someone with a different look

A different taste.

Take a chance

On me
Dare

And be crazy

To be seen

To act crazy

See life in a new light

To walk a mile

In someone else's shoes.

Take a chance

on me

Soar

To new heights

To find a new person

To find a new love

At a risk

Now tell me

Would you take the chance?

~ Aulene

~APLIW

The Whispers Film

So this week I had absolutely nothing to post writing wise. So I thought I would share with you a short film I wrote, directed, and starred in. Its titled The Whispers. It is to help raise awareness for the serious mental disorder known as schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia is a very serious disease. Please share this with your friends.


Thanks

Many blessings

Joseph W.

Summertime

Okay guys, I actually wrote this for an assignment a couple of days ago. I know lame, right? But this is something that I feel, I have put my heart and feelings into, and wanted to share. Thanks and enjoy! :)

~~~~~~~~~

It's summer time, and the first thing I think about are bright, vibrant orange, reds, and yellows. It is days such as these that make me grateful for being alive; having people around me that love me and make me happy. The air is clean like that after a rainstorm. The sun is rising; peaking over the mountains, I see the mist circling around like magic.

If heaven is anything like I am seeing or feeling I would not need anyone else to make me happy. But that isn't entirely true, there is one girl that is on my mind that I know, in my heart, I would not be happy in such a paradise unless she was there to share it with.

Images of her face fill my mind. Her smooth smooth voice resonates; her presence is so real I can her breath on my neck as shes whispers in my ear. I can feel myself losing my grip on reality, the trees, the grass, and the light; they are all fading as I fall into a slumber with peace, and tranquility in my soul.




-edited AAA

The Whispers

Hey guys, this is an excerpt of a story that I have been working on, it's called 'The Whispers'.
Now the people that I have shown this story to ask me if Caleb is really me or someone I made up, and well it is me. Now my dad isn't a drunk or my mom isn't dead, but about 2 years ago if you would have asked me I would say that I hated my dad and my mom almost left us. And this story was a way for me to express my life at that time through my imagination. Thankfully my family life has been restored and I hope that each part of the story I post that you will enjoy this story of redemption. :)

Alex S.

It was late.

Eleven-thirty to be exact. And on a moonlit night I found myself wandering through the streets of Lancaster, Washington. I knew it wasn't safe, but truthfully I really didn't care. All I wanted to be was away from home. I hadn’t been able to understand it. My mother dying and my father being a drunk. How did I get here, wandering the streets of Washington.

Everyday at school was like having rocks thrown at me, people constantly beating me down with the insults. There was only one good thing I could think of that I liked about school was seeing Sara Cooper. You could say I had a crush on her since the third grade when she moved to my school from Indiana. I knew it would never happen, I mean she was the most beautiful girl in school. Well maybe not the most beautiful girl, but as my mother always said, beauty was in the eye of the beholder. My heart sank, if only she were here to talk to, and tell me everything would be okay. I missed her so much.

Sometimes I wished at night that I wouldn't wake up the next morning. I didn't really mean it, but I was hurting so bad seeing all of my friends have moms to love them, I had no idea what that felt like. She died while I was a boy. Something told me that it was one of the greatest things you could have. I looked down at my watch, I really needed to get home, school was tomorrow and had a bunch of algebra homework to get done.

I hoped that my father had skipped out on the drinking and went to bed, but I doubt it knowing him, it was rare if my father didn't drink. The only reason my father got up in the morning was to go to work. I felt sorry for my father sometimes because from what he would tell me before becoming more depressed was that my mother was the reason he woke up every morning. I never pushed the issue any further. What if my father lost it altogether? What if I had to live alone or in an orphanage? The thought made my heart heavy. I looked up at the skyscrapers, the lights, and rushing cars. Life never stops, it never gives you a break. All I ever wanted was time to stop for a while so I could work through all my emotions. There was no time for that. He had to be strong; I had to keep going and never give up. Time was running away from me, and I soon found myself jogging through the streets of Washington. Running past people gathering at the light posts, but I got too close to an alley and ran into a larger man with a menacing look in his eyes.

"Hey, slow down there kid." The big man said. I looked up at him breathless. "What’re you looking for?" I thought about what the man was asking, and then it hit me. He thought I wanted drugs. I stumbled for a moment while the big man just looked at me dumbly.

“Uh I. . .” I was stumbling with my words. “Uh, no thanks.” I managed to say clearly. I shifted my eyes down and headed on my way. The man looked back at me like I was crazy, but I didn’t care what he thought.

I twisted the doorknob and the door squeaked as it opened. I walked in, then stopped to listen to hear if my father was awake. Nothing. At least it was better than him stumbling through the kitchen drunk. I walked through the kitchen just to see if he had been drunk earlier. Looking around I spotted a cracked liquor bottle and what looks to be the shards of a shot glass. I just shook my head.

This is never going to end, what did I expect to happen. Just to wake up one morning and my father be happy as ever and sober. Yeah, sure I thought. When I thought about it, I've only seen him drunk one time. Chills flew down my spine, I never wanted to see that again. I never wanted to be a part of that. After I had seen that I made a promise that I would never get caught up in alcohol or drugs. I now see what it does to people, it destroys everything they hold dear to them. If only his father could see what he was doing to himself.

I sighed and reached down to pick up the shards of glass. I slipped, and the palm of my hand was cut wide open. "Agh!" I heard myself say aloud. I winced. Instinctively, I grabbed the cut with my other hand. Blood was pooling on my palm and dribbling on the floor. I ran over to the sink to wash the cut out. Suddenly I felt dizzy, I was losing too much blood. I panicked and turned, trying to get a towel, tripping over myself. I slammed hard against the floor, I could smell the distinct scent of blood. It was no use trying to get up, for my world slowly drifted away into black...

~Edited by Sharon, AAA

Regret

Hay guys its Aulene again. I just wrote this! I really liked it and I hope you do to. I got the inspiration from a guy named Tyler who lives in Colorado. I dated him for a year and I left him because he changed and hurt me. I look back and I regret nothing more then leaving him. I loved him and would go back if I could. Please comment and let me know what you think.

My life.
My breath.

My love.
All was yours.
You held me so dear.
Like crystal,
I was fragile.
Trusting you,
I gave myself up
to feel your warmth,
your tough,
your heart beating with mine.
Intertwined
as only those in love can understand.
Then I see it,
who you really are.
Your crystal shines no more.
The light on me is gone,
but where?
Across the sea,
over the mountains.
Gone
from me forever,
yet still
I would die for you.
I'm sorry,
come back.

~Aulene

~Edited by Quinton, Sharon

Una Carta de Vida

Hola todo el mundo.

I know...I know...I posted yesterday, but I'm scheduled for today in reality. (These two a weeks are going to be the death of me... -__- ) Anyways...this next piece is a personal letter to a girl I met some time ago. If it's a bit sappy, you're not crazy, but simply not seeing the purpose. Anyways, here's my scheduled piece for the week. Read on readers.

Dear Audrey,

We floated above the clouds, can you recall?
You lied in my arms.
You looked a wild mess;
     your eyes shined with surprise.
Every bit the damsel I expected
     the year before when I first
          kissed your ruby red lips.
Our feet rejected the ground
     as my will saved you from the crowd.
Lovely, you looked so innocent!
Those three words you spoke...
The tone of each syllable
     matched dangerous colors
          even as I carried you to safety.
"Should we tell them?" you asked,
     yet all I wanted was to keep
          our love my secret.
Even as I kissed you in that painted sky
     we knew the world wouldn't give us peace.
So I spoke so softly, even the air was deaf.
Can you recall?
I whispered,
     "I'll never let you fall."

Alex


_____________________________________

As an after-thought, for the past few weeks I've been working with a student-run newspaper called The Pulse. Primarily, the newspaper focueses on political issues, but a few of the lead editors and myself are working on creating a creative writing section for the website's Art section.

If you want to check out the website and read about all the goodness The Pulse has to offer, just click on the link.

If you have any questions about The Pulse, or my writing in general feel free to e-mail me at brinque38@gmail.com. I'm always happy to answer any questions.

Until next week,

Carpe diem et provehito in altum.

(Seize the day and launch forth into the deep.) 

Senses Fail

A new week means new poetry. As I'm posting this I'm sitting in a room full of douchebags and idiots. (Literally, one just said, "Smoking isn't bad for you.") I guess this makes this post a bit more relevant because of it. (Although, the poetry was meant in more of a political sense. Hence, the Occupy Columbus marchers in the included picture.) Either way, enjoy my new piece.

________________________

"Pena"

Drink up the misery.

Dwell in my pain.

Focus on hindsight.

The past was in vain.

We all fall.

The world glows.

Truth is nonexistent.

The wisest man knows.

World's gone blind.

It tries to see.

Ignorance is bliss.

Every thought wants free.

Some grant wishes.

Others grant death.

People waste money.

Dealers sell them meth.

"Truths" still condemn.

All become grotesque.

Hatred surrounds meaning.

Life is a whore's burlesque.

Space grows cold.

Good intentions rot.

Throw safety away.

Diseases are lies we've caught.

Come; please come.

Waste your mind.

Goodness is rarity.

This, you're sure to find.

Endings sour time.

Reapers ring bells.

"Sanity is for losers,"

Or so a blind man tells.

Let it enfold you.

Follow your bliss.

Tomorrow'll be bright.

Make it something you miss.

Carpe diem et provehito in altum.

~Alex

I've Given Up

Hey everyone. This will be my first post in three weeks. Sorry for the delay. Classes have been a little hectic lately, and Columbus hasn't been much kinder.

I haven't been able to write very much on the creative end due to all the work I'm putting into a research paper and an article I'm working with The Pulse (more information on the later) to publish. However, a week or so ago I wrote a small piece about something very relevant to me. Sorry if it's not the greatest, but emotions can seldom pick or choose their quality. Here's my life put into words.

I:

“Giving In”

My eyes,
        they gaze.               
                They see the truth
        held solemnly
within her mind.

She sleeps.
        She eats.
                She starves all the same.
        Her heart
destroys all nourishment that comes her way.

I stay
        I bleed.
                My intentions are pure.
        Yet, she’s blind
to the fallacy before her.

He cheats.
        He beats.
                She still falls at his feet.
        I defend.
Now I’m the villain.

“My heart,
        My love,
                It’s all for you!”
        Her ears
reject my good intentions

We fight.
        We shout.
                She abuses me with hate
        Her tongue
spits acid at my face.

I stand.
        I leave.
                She’s far from me.
        My regret
falls like liquid wonder

These eyes,
        they cry.
                I no longer want to care.
        I’ve tried.
These times leave me lost.

Her eyes.
        His lies
                fall perfectly these days.
        All those
who care have given up.

“Given Up”

Bring me back
        to the place I once knew.
Take me back
        to when I still loved you.

Man the gates
        or run from the scene
Emotions flow regardless
        of how little I mean.

Days on end
        I’ve sat here and thought.
Would you believe
        your eyes see solely what I’m not?

Beauty was you,
        in the most classical way.

Sorry my words
        weren’t enough to make you stay.

I wish things
        were as happy between us
                as they had been way back when.

Now my mind
        must forget your emerald eyes;
                stop hoping you’ll leave him.

Carpe diem et provehito in altum.

~Alex



Several Poems. Same Girl.

        Over these past few weeks I've been settling into my nice, comfy dorm room at The Ohio State University. Columbus is definitely different than my old residence, but for the better. At least, I think so. While most of my attention is being focused on school work, studying, athletic band, and continuing the first draft of my novel-in-progress, definitely expect to see at least one piece of work weekly from me for a while.
        While at OSU, I've met quite a few new, interesting people here. These next few poems are derived from the mixed inspiration coming from two girls I met on the first day.


       "Silent Eyes"

Give way to stark emotions,

     your emotions are too cool to hold back.

See the eyes glaring from the darkness;

     they see all that you want the most.

Someone to match your coolness,

     something tho love your silent soul.

Simply believe

     that I can be solely myself.

All will be better

     when your confidence

          creates my smile.

"The Sun"

Shoot me a glance

or a smile,

    so sweet.

The sun

is brightest

    in your felicity's wake.

     "Shooting Stars"

A thought becomes a wish

    as I ponder so heavily

         tonight.

Clouds, dark and gray,

    surround those that are

         light and pure.

Clarity seeps into my sleepy eyes as I wonder

         how to make my wish come true.

Learning is for those who

    wish to accept "the truth,"

         but my lies seem more valid.

Each thought,

                    each wish,

                                   is my reality,

                                                     my star-crossed fatality.

"Listen"

Voices echo through the darkness.

Words drop like flies.

People run about with madness.

They sprint to lies.

Provehito in altum et carpe diem

~Alex