Misconceptions

Show me your poor in big, sprawling houses

Give me the freedom of feeling rich

Tell me about tragedies never told

Multiply misconceptions tenfold

Drag me under your salted influence

Surround me with sins, both great and small

Save me from my forgotten faith tonight

Steal all hope before it’s too, damn bright

Carry my weight, so that I know no pain

Detest my problems to allow me shame

Cancel all beliefs not aligned with yours

Threaten me with nothing but closed doors

Place my reality within your hands

Then leave me dry, wishing for your warmth

Keep me dependent upon only your touch

Love me. Am I asking you for much?

-Chris S.

A Trial by Fire

"Flying" by *MindTuber

For anyone following me on Tumblr, this may not exactly be a "new" piece, but it's too relevant to leave to one blog alone. 

Life often leaves us in scenarios too dangerous to stay. It's unfortunate that we may stay in them regardless. To that point, I continue writing and fleshing out why it is that such pain is all too enjoyable. Yet, regardless, the heart which beats in my chest can't possibly hold out against such misery for long. 

Maybe that's why the title of this piece makes so much sense...

"Fuck..."

The times, they flew away
With the sanity I’d been holding
For two people, me and you

It’s no walk in the park
Only a jury by fire, with acts
Like you never knew

Tired thoughts, drift away
To the sea containing hope
Or painful years lost

With one word, it’s all lost
And, no, I can’t take the tears
Or the unbelievable cost

~Chris

Can't sleep, Can't Speak

When you just want to turn around and run back to where you came from. Back to where you started, back to who you were, who you knew, and what you so loved. But you can't. You mustn't. You can't get anywhere with focusing on the past, it just drives you into the ground because you want things to go back to the way they were but there's no chance, no way, no how, they could be the same.

I get lost, ya know? I'm getting older and losing grip of time. I feel nostalgic listening to this song. Part of me goes numb. When I sit alone, my thoughts conflict each other. One side says: "Oh, if only I could be who I was, or if I could relive that..." The other says: "Don't waste your time. You know you can't go back. Things are just going to have to progress whether they get better or not."

I've been going through a rough time right now with someone I love..They tend to take advantage of me being here for so long. When a few years ago I was everything to them, I want to feel that way again.