Looking back

photo by phatpuppy

“Biased Memories”

           Alone, I’m here, walking these streets. Darkness has brought my thoughts to life and answers have cured this body of strife. “Do you remember where this started?” I whisper to anyone who will listen. The warmth of summer fills this neighborhood’s silent air. “I can remember it like it were yesterday.” My feet stop at a corner, below a lamppost, illuminating my memories as they escape my delighted self.
          You were a girl I hardly knew. Yet, still, you played my wife on the stage. I was a shy kid without any friends. Yet, fast forward a few months, and you were the only one listening. My eyes stare out into the darkness as images of her walking by my side reenact themselves before me. I guess I screwed up by dating another girl instead. I laugh. But Fate knows how this all plays out.
           The light goes out above me, and my feet bring me around the corner. No one else graces this night with their presence. I enjoy the loneliness though. Still, I sigh as I step onto the parking lot of the high school I use to explore. Phantoms pass by once more. An ex-girlfriend’s kiss and devotion shock my body, while the ghosts of a friend’s threat attempt to kill me. I shudder, but my smile never fades. “Well, old building,” I speak. “You haven’t changed one bit. Are you happy to see that I have?” Will you be happy to see that I have? Her face enters my mind once more, and I slowly begin to wonder why she’d care about a “wretch” like me.
            Is it your kindness? Is it your life? What makes you see more of me than the others? A bonfire sets ablaze in the grasses to the right of the high school—hopefully another illusion. Teenagers stand around the fire with cans of Mountain Dew and Pepsi in their hands. A marching band waits yards away. “There I am,” I state as I suddenly see myself with a sousaphone wrapped around my body. Younger kids fight for my attention, but all the girls are appalled by my presence. There I am… The girl I’d put my hope into back then had fled with the smile my youth had worn. How could she behave differently than they had? None of it makes sense, even as the images fade and my feet start again.
           The high school passes on my right, consumed in its abandonment. I’d once thought of it like me, in a way. All alone and only used when convenient. I guess our ways have parted. I follow up a small hill until a secondary parking lot blocks my path. A dark car sits alone in the lot, and, suddenly, buildings pop up behind it. My eyes can see the events inside the car unfold.
           Her and I sit with smiles upon our faces. I truly can’t remember smiling that wide, but these illusions have yet to lie. That night you’d felt the same, huh? I shake my head. I guess I just wasn’t mature enough to follow it through. The illusions fade quicker than before as my feet scrape the ground. I head out of the parking lot; away from the school; back towards the darkened streets. “Just be careful,” I mutter as my happy thoughts linger a bit longer. “I could love you without much reason.”

Unexpected Chaos

So I have been thinking on this story for some time now. Part of the reason I didn't post last week, sorry :(

Although I am quite sure that I will finish this one (for once, haha). Honestly I am not sure where I am going with this story, it is leading down a rabbit trail to who knows where...

Take the journey with me??

Well I hope you all enjoy!

Grace be with you all,

Alex S.

Her hands were warm to the touch. She was smiling at me as if nothing else on this planet mattered, and I wanted to keep it that way. We were walking down the sidewalk hand-in-hand. Slowly the sun began to set before our eyes, and before I knew what I was doing I stopped walking, pulled her back, and—as if in a movie—she turned. Then we kissed as she wrapped her arms around me. Despite the cool air, my body was filled with warmth from her lips. We pulled away, looking into each other’s eyes with no conviction or fear. Everything about this night was perfect…

I awoke to my brother's rap music blaring in our room. I tried to get up but, as soon as I felt a slight pain in my back and  looking up to my bed, I realized that I had either fallen off my bed or my little brother had pushed me off. (Which, in some cases, the latter seemed very logical, but in others it was ridiculous. I mean, I was almost twice his size!) I switched the music off and got dressed; looking at the clock I saw that it was almost past noon. Past noon?! Aw man, well I suppose there would be no reason to go to school this late anyways. Now what am I do with my day, since I already gave myself the day off...

 Wait a second, why didn't mom try to wake me up knowing that I would be late for school? And why would Sam leave his music on. It's not like him at all. Fear crawled through my body. I peered out my door. The hallway was cold like the heat had been off for hours. No lights were turned on. 

            Well this isn't completely creeping me out…While I'm about to round the first corner that leads down the stairs I half expect a zombie to jump out from around the corner, chase me back to my room, and eating my brains out. But I should’ve known, nothing was there and, like the rest of the house, I find that it is dark and cold—no zombies or monsters. Man, why couldn't it be a little more exciting? I wanted to use my zombie apocalypse kit that I bought last week. Oh well, perhaps another time. 

I know that dad is okay since he is at work, and Sam should have caught the bus this morning, but what about mom? Where did she go? We only own one car, so there is no way she went shopping. 

With some further searching of the house I found nothi— Wait, is that blood on the couch? There was a trail from something being dragged from the couch to the back door marked by blood. Oh, my stomach tightened, and I felt nauseous. 

A phrase kept running through my mind: This can't be happening, oh please no. Following the trail of blood to the back door I hesitated to open the door. Before my hands touched the doorknob a thought crossed my mind: What if whoever did this is still here? But I couldn't leave not knowing what's behind this door. Or instead of opening the door that could possibly lead to my death I could go through the front door and run around to the back. Which one to choose... Go through the back door and find a bloodied killer waiting for you to fall into his trap? Or go through the front door to find that there is a horde of zombies waiting for me. Decisions, Decisions...

I looked at the trail of blood one more time hoping that it had been a figment of my imagination. Nope, it was definitely real, unfortunately. I felt my stomach tighten up once again, I took a deep breath and walked to the front door. Before I opened the door, I almost hoped that I would be greeted by a zombie rather than face the gruesome truth of a serial killer in my house. The door swung wide open and before me was not standing a zombie, but a man in dark clothes and a hat which read: "FBI". 

Oh man, you gotta be kidding me... 

Before I had a chance to say or do a thing the man took me by the arm, turned me around, grabbed my other arm, and started to handcuff me. "Hey, what are you doing to me?! You have no right," I yelled at the man, who seemed to not even hear me. He started to read me my Miranda rights, "Look I don't need to be silent I didn't do anything!" I fought hard to get free, but it was no use. This man was huge and had a death-grip on me. Kind of suiting since he probably thinks I killed whoever is outside, but now was not the time to plead for my life. First, I gotta figure out how to get out of this situation. 

"So where are you taking me?" I asked inquisitively as if I didn't already know where I was going. The agent just grunted at me. Great, getting nowhere fast (except that I'm headed right towards the electric chair). Looking around, I noticed that there was an axe handle with a towel wrapped around the head in the passenger’s seat in the agent's sleek cliché SUV. Wait, an axe, why would an...Oh man, oh man, oh man. I am so dead.

The agent looked through his rearview mirror and smirked at me. Chills washed through me, and I was clearly unsettled. He knew it too.

You know, despite the fact of being trapped in a car with a serial killer, I find it almost humorous that I am not strapped down except for my seat belt. Which gave me an idea on how to escape, although there was one dilemma that I did face. We were driving on the highway at 50 mph.     

Okay David, it is now or never. I quietly unhooked my seat belt and made sure that he was completely oblivious to what I was doing. I waited for the opportune moment. Just as I was about to reach for the door, the man turned, giving me a weird look. I sat there and tried to act as normal as possible until he turned back around. Luckily it was only for a moment before he continued to drive. And, without a second thought, I opened the door of the SUV and jumped out with everything I had in me... 

Empty

Hey guys its Aulene!! So this is a really old piece. I probable wrote this about two years ago. It is about how I feel about a guy I couldn't have; then, the girl who got him ended up breaking his heart. It made me really upset because she had everything, and I could see how bad she had hurt such an amazing person. This may be an old piece but the feelings are still true. Please comment. Tell me about your experience like this. Everyone has one. Thanks for all your support. <3

Empty

Her chest sinks in

She feels nothing

He is broken

He feels pain

She does not look back

He cringes at the hurt in his broken heart

Sharp shards stab him from inside

His wrists bleed a maroon river

She doesn't even look back to say...

What could she say?

She hurt him and can't take it back

Everyone sees it

Everyone knows it

But her,

I loved him!

Why are you so cruel?

So heartless inside.

So empty.

Empty of emotions. Heart.

Feeling,

She is numb

I just wonder how you will feel...

When you feel his pain

The pain of sharp shards,

But your heart is gone

Leaving you empty.

~Aulene

~APLIW

The curse of age

Photo by DanulenKal

Age is a fickle thing that can't help but come to us all at the most inopportune times. While at OSU, I hadn't really thought about it much. The biggest age gap between my peers and I was four years, at most, but such a difference seemed irrelevant. Coming back to Monroe, OH, the difference fluctuated, and suddenly I feel as if I'm the oldest. This next piece captures my mindset during the moment when I first realized this.

===+===

"Graduating to a new view"

“For every action there is a reaction.” That’s what I mutter to myself. Insanity drenches my self-image as I attempt once more to console my mind about all of the things I’ve lost. Time passes by. I stare ahead. Friends wave goodbye. I wish myself dead. I’m growing up, in an ill-fated sort of way. Understanding it any other way just wouldn’t fit.

Eyes that once tempted my soul. Lips that once made me shy. Beauty that once made me quiver. “Once” is the key word, but no key fits a mind so wanting of a lock. The door is closed, and her heart is missing. No, not missing...Simply gone. Yes, gone...She gave it to that fellow sitting by her side. So comfortable is he that I can’t imagine this scene any other way. Still, I stare ahead.

People around me speak. “For every action there is a reaction,” I whisper back. Now, it is they who stare.

“What?” the closest asks.

“Nothing,” I respond with knowledge that they wouldn’t understand the quote. “Equivalent exchange” (or something of the like) is what we call it, but what equivalence is given for this insanity? “Save me,” I mutter to my savior, a thousand miles away. No doubt, she won’t hear; won’t care.

Still, she sits. Still, I stare. Time flows in its curved fashion regardless of either. Or is it because of both? Maturity has cursed my soul, and I stand to lose it all. So, I keep staring, keep muttering, and keep the hope that a reaction will be drawn.








Fate drives me.
~Chris

Chance

photo by WinterDruidess

Hey guys! It's Aulene once again! This is a brand new piece! I wrote this because I realized that so many people want to stick to their sterieotype or stay in the saftey of their click. I want to encourage everyone to step into someone else's shoes and see how they live and how they view things. The world is a lot bigger when you open up your mind to new possibilities. Comment please! Thank you! <3

Chance

Take a chance

On me

Believe

For once

In something new

In someone new

Someone with a different look

A different taste.

Take a chance

On me
Dare

And be crazy

To be seen

To act crazy

See life in a new light

To walk a mile

In someone else's shoes.

Take a chance

on me

Soar

To new heights

To find a new person

To find a new love

At a risk

Now tell me

Would you take the chance?

~ Aulene

~APLIW

Too far

"Lust-filled Thoughts"

Slavery encapsulates this moment. Her hand lies under mine. Two hearts beat in sync. Sweet air wafts to and fro. Still I am a slave to her eyes, those dark eyes, as we stare at each other with sudden attraction.

A quiver shocks her lips as the slow seconds pass. Mine seem to mock the motion as I wait, unknowingly wanting something more. “Kiss me,” she says with the sweetest of smiles. Very briefly the picture of me committing the act flashes through my mind. Without commanding myself to do so, I lean forward. Our lips meet for the first time at the center of the space between us.

Minutes pass, or elongated seconds...my mind cannot distinguish the former from the latter. So delicate but firm, her lips thrill me in a novel way.

Suddenly her fingers move from beneath mine; she grabs my hand. My heart flutters continuously. I’ve never felt like this before. I’ve never felt this good before. Now she kisses me harder as she places my hand atop her breast. “Touch me,” she gives a breathy whisper between pleasurable assaults upon my lips. Once again I comply.

Air around us becomes still, unnoticeable. Her body squeezes hard against mine, my hand rubbing harder against her breast. A soft moan escapes her lips as she pulls away from my lips. She’s breathing hard, and I can hear each breath as her mouth nears my ears.

“Fuck me,” she whispers softly. But I stop. My hand leaves her breast. I pull my head back. Once again, I’m staring deep into her beautifully dark eyes. I see what she wants. If the words had not fled from her lips, the answer would have easily been shared through the look she gives me.

“No,” I say softly, catching my breath. Confusion fills her expression.

“Why not?” Disappointment saturates her tone.

“Some things shouldn’t be so easy. Waiting seems better than rushing,” I utter without thought. Now anger slowly engulfs her dark eyes.

“Fine! Be like that!” she yells before stomping out of the room in a fit of rage. My fingers touch my lips in attempt to feel once more the pleasure she had given me at the start. In my mind, I relive the short encounter once more.

Why couldn’t something so simple be enough?

Fate drives me.

~Chris

Nothing Special

photo by JessicaBlain

Hey guys this is my piece for this week. I got the inspiration for this piece from my old friend. We have been best friends for two years and she stopped talking to me about three weeks ago and I don't know why. I felt really hurt and like I had no one to turn to because this is the first time this has ever happened to me. I know we have all had hard times and I encourage you to comment and tell me about it because it always seems to help when you have someone to talk to. I love you guys. :) Thank you.

Nothing special

Nothing special

Just me

Sitting in this dark cave

Finding shards of rock I begin

I begin building my wall

My protection

I am not made of stone

Like you

Blood runs through my veins

Anger rages

And if you drop me I break

I'm not different than you

Physically.

Mentally I can see the truth

Just a little too late

Too late to get the heart to pull back

See who you really were

That mask is your disguise

Your lie

You played it well

I believed you

Then you left

Leaving your broken mask behind

For years it collected your lies

Without it I can see the truth

Your truth.

You're nothing special

Just another mask

~ Aulene

~  APLIW

A reminiscent story

picture by auroille

After two weeks of sharing some heavy pieces, I thought I might share something happier. This shorter story comes directly from my life (translation: it's actually happened).

I'm starting a new project, which will definitely turn into something you all will love. So, expect news on it soon, as well as more awesomeness from Aulene and Alex in the future.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

In an open field we happily lie. Her heart beats softly as her body presses against mine. Stars in the sky shine brightly and make her visage glow beautifully. But, indeed, she's the only star I see tonight.

Her eyes are dark, like mine, but glow like flawed diamonds, more valuable than my life. I stare but can't seem to ignore my luck. "Why are you staring at me like that?" she asks with a giggle and, for a second, I'm stunned.

"Sorry..." I laugh nervously. "I couldn't help it." She snuggles closer to me; my heart races with the further touch of her elegant body.

"I don't know why," she speaks once more. "I'm not much to look at." In her words, a poison is held. Into the air, the poison spreads and the scene fades.

Where am I? She's no longer by my side. Who am I? My star is gone. What just happened? And reality comes back to this ill-fated world to balance happy thoughts once held.

Around me lies a dorm room, small and cluttered. In front of me stands a desk which hums with the vibration of a cell phone against its surface. I pick up the phone, knowing that my dreams have long fled. "There's just something about him..."  The message on the screen reads. "I can't let him go..."  She'd been my star years ago, but the light has faded from her touch.

"I'm sure things will work out if you keep trying." I type back. "Let your heart guide you."  Even in my optimism, the pessimism destroys my own heart as my mind cries out in anguish. What's happened? The past seems so impossible. Why did things change? The present feels terrible. I want her...I need her... But the future prevails with or without her.

As teenagers we'd let emotions carry us on radical winds. Now come the doldrums with ambiguous force; her actions have told me not to get involved once more. Heartache crushes me, but she's miles away and this dorm doesn't feel big enough for pity.

A vibration shocks my hand as I realize my grip on the phone. "I don't know Chris...I just don't fucking know..."  My heart pounds, but my fingers type neutrality.

"Tory, you'll be fine. Everything has a purpose."  And so my mind drifts back to her and I lying in the field as I ponder the purpose of such times ending. My chair creak as I lean back and stare into space. "Or maybe I'm only kidding myself," I state. "For what purpose should I love? Purposes evade my sight in the end..."

One more vibration brings me back. "I miss you."  The message reads, but my answer has always been implied. 




Fate drives me.
~Chris

Patience

There is so much more that I wish I could tell you 

It feels like I am keeping secrets from you 

I want to tell you everything that I am feeling

It’s exploding from every fiber of my being

I can’t say it, it’s on tip of my tongue

Every moment I’m around you

My reality falls apart

And you are the only thing precious to me

Are these feelings real? 

Should I trust them? 

Or just toss away this love I know? 

It seems that everything is falling into place

Am I dreaming? 

Do you see what I see? 

Do you feel what I feel? 

I pray every night 

Asking God if you are the one

I can hear him say 

“Patience my son” 

It is so hard

But I am willing 

I will wait, I will always wait for you.

End of round one

Aulene's taking a much-needed vacation, so I thought I might share a brand new piece with you in her stead. This piece is entirely a free-write, without edit, so judge it as you will.

photo by Racebabe

"Untitled"

"Climb to new heights."

"See the world anew."

"Instead of one, be two."

"Don't give in 'those nights.'"

I'm a boxer, fighting myself.

Not one thought's

been one I've bought.

I'm trapped as someone else. 

Round one starts here

where minds meet hate

Or maybe just lonely Fate.

But, still, I can't show fear. 

Exes from each corner.

Bitches from each state.

They rob me of a clean slate.

A new meaning's given to 'former.'

"You still love her, don't you?"

"Why'd you cause her pain?"

"Must you be so lame?

"Think she still 'loves' you too?"

Questions and thoughts come

like punches upon my jaw.

They judge regret like law.

Soon I'll be undone.

An insult I should've fought

comes, but I don't defend.

No, I only wish to make amend.

She must remind me of what I'm not.

"Think about who you are."

"Do you feel shame?"

"Why must she share the blame?"

Defeated thoughts never get me far.

~Chris

~APLIW