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Friday, May 24, 2013

It's the Substrates That Matter

My posts have dwindled to essentially nothing in the past few weeks due to starting work on another novel. This new novel is set to satire my first few years of college (in all its glory).
Currently, the project itself is titled "Substrates and Killer Tones" (the title hasn't been set in stone), but I thought I might as well share the short story that sets up the entire book. As I finish more of the book, I'll be posting more details, either on here or on my Tumblr account.

If you really enjoy what you read, let me know. I'm still looking for some opinions on the first few chapters and am always open to new readers.


"Substrates and Killer Tones"


“They say it isn’t possible. Why is it impossible? How can it be impossible?” I snicker at the thought. The wheels on my chair squeak against the stained floor as I push back from my desk. “I just have to think hard enough. Yes, hard enough.” The smile upon my face would delight even the most cynical of beings. Only realizations of the highest degree could bring on such happiness. Realizations that are born from the ideas of the brilliant—yes, the brilliant. They may say I’m crazy—that my ideas are crazy—but they don’t know! So blind…Yes, so blind…
Eyes wide. Pupils focused. Saliva dripping from my mouth in waiting for an occurrence. All of my focus sits on the blank, dirty wall before me in the dim, dim light of this damn dorm room. A cube. Yes, a cube! That’s what I want! I’ll create a cube! I’ll show them what’s ‘impossible!’ My brain strains anxiously and water seeps from the corners of my eyes. A square pops into my visual field. Super-imposed upon the wall. Intangible and translucent, its figure hardly blocks any sight of the wall, but it’s progress. Delicious progress!
Almost there! My concentration hardens. My eyes grow wider. Small tremors kick my head in anticipation. Slowly but surely, the square pops out. I can see it! Its four edges emerge from the grimy wall, bringing eight more behind it. A cube! Yes, it’s a cube that I want! It’s not long before my brilliance has birthed an object from nothingness. But…something’s wrong…
Why can I still look through it?! Anger seeps into current thoughts as my eyes keep wide, straining to keep the object from dissipating. With a shaking hand, there’s a commitment to testing the cubes tangibility. It must be real this time… How can it not be? How could it be impossible? Tremors shove my hand in such a way that even entropy could not accurately describe. But, still, I reach for it.
I’m almost there. Just a few more inches. Surely it’ll be real this time.
Shaking horribly, my hand reaches were it should be, but nothing activates my mechanoreceptors. I feel nothing.
“Goddamnit!” I yell. My eyes snap shut, drawing the tense energy back into my body. The force of it all throws me back, throws my chair sideways. In a clatter, both of us crash to the floor hard. Now still, my hand grasps my unclothed, aching arm while I wince in pain.
The cube is gone. Watery eyes won’t quit. Now I have a headache. “Just, fucking wonderful…” A sigh escapes my exasperated lips long before I lie my head down upon the floor, upon the small streaks of blood that had helped to calm me before the attempt. “Regular focus doesn’t work. Stimulants don’t increase the tangibility. Pain-induced focus doesn’t have enough bite. Even sacrificing life energy doesn’t come close.” Another sigh. Soft thuds from the floor or my head hit the air as I bang my head against brown tile. “Idiot…And they call you a genius! Ha!” I snicker in self-hate. What good are the doubters?
I gradually come to pull myself up and place the chair up-right. “Just because they say something is impossible, doesn’t make it ‘impossible.’” I wipe a hand over my arm to remove some of the blood, but my skin seems to be stained. “Nothing is ‘impossible.’” I smirk at even the slight notion that I’ll never succeed. “I’ll try again.”
As I sit down upon the chair, there’s a simultaneous knock at my door and window. I glance right at the door, then left at the window. “Here we go again.” I sigh and stand up.
Opening the door, I find a young woman standing before me. Slightly shorter than I with medium-length, dark green hair—a dye job—light-brown eyes and a “cute” face. Maybe I’d find her average physique and fashion sense more attractive if her “concerned” personality wasn’t so goddamn annoying.
“What is it, Sarah?” I ask, letting my annoyance slip easily. Her eyes capture mine with the affective glare of an innocent young girl.
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I called you earlier, and you didn’t respond. Lately, you’ve been so caught up with your experiments…I’ve been…worried, especially when I heard what people’ve been saying.” The emotion in her voice feels thick, almost overwhelming. I could almost hug her. Any other person would have gotten the sarcastic: And…what have they been saying? But, for some reason, I can never truly bring myself to be so callous with Sarah. Just because they call me a “demon” doesn’t make me heartless. “What’s that?!” She reaches out a shaking hand to touch the blood on my arm. When her fingers come back died with crimson, the look of terror on her face says it all.
Freezing in place, I watch her reaction as she pushes the door open a little more. Such a gentle soul; what could she do? Her eyes waver a bit as her mind seems to hone in on the smears of blood my body had left upon the floor. I guess the bloody pocket knife on the desk doesn’t make the sight any better either…
“Are you okay?” she squeaks with all the worry written on her visage. Goddamn, that face…Why must she look like that?
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I answer easily with my best, beguiling smile. “I was just trying a new angle on one of my theories. It’s really not as bad as you think, I promise.” I laugh lightly, and her overall mood seems to shift for the better, making the moment slightly less awkward.
“Okay…” she mutters.
“Look, how about this?” I start to lead her away from the door, into the hallway. “Go back to your room. I’ll clean up, get dressed, and I’ll meet you for dinner. How’s that sound?” Her original innocence sparks into action as a sweet smile spawns upon her face.
“That sounds wonderful!”
“Give me an hour or so, and I’ll text you with the details?” She nods her head in agreement and starts to walk away. It doesn’t take her long to glance back at me.
“Just be careful, okay?” Once more, the sincerity in her voice could kill a man.
“Yeah yeah yeah…” I wave her comment off with another smile. She seems satisfied enough—that is, if her leaving is any indicator.
I sigh once more as I close the door behind me. Thinking passively at how many times I tend to sigh, I wonder if Sarah actually realizes what I’m trying to do. How could I possibly be careful at a time like this? Regardless…
“You’re late.” The words fly out of my mouth flat, emotionless.
“Who ever said a demon had to show up on time?”
“Samuel, when he first contacted me.”
“Pssh…Samuel’s too uptight.” I guess he would know. Before me stands Israel, Samuel’s right-hand man—well, one of them at least. When I first met the guy, his name brought back memories of Sunday school, but, obviously, he and Jacob aren’t exactly the same type of person.
Black suit. Red dress shirt. Crimson necktie. Black shades. Blond hair, white skin, and dark-red eyes—in the brief glimpses I’ve received in the past. All the demons seem to wear the same get-up (hair and skin color being the exception). Honestly, I find it all strange and unsettling.
“Are you going to actually tell me what you’re here for or stand in front of my window all night?” The open window behind him lets in a constant flow of cold air. It only makes me hate him more.
Israel smirks. “I hear you’ve been attempting energy creation again,” he remarks casually, hands in his black trouser pockets. “Didn’t Samuel tell you that that power is reserved for Gods?”
“He also said that tolls had to be paid for humans attempting it. I’ve been paying my tolls; he shouldn’t have any problems.” I guess the grimace on my face actively displays my discomfort, because his smile widens. Motherfucker….
“Yes, yes…I just wanted to warn you…” Now at my desk, he plays with my pocket knife. His hidden eyes seem to contemplate the blood on its edge. “It’s dangerous manipulating life energy like that. Also, one wrong move, and maybe what you create won’t be due to your toll. Ever think of that, smartass?”
I remain silent with clenched fists at my side. What else could a genius do?
Leaving my knife back to its resting position, he heads back for the window. Silence impedes the air as he puts a leg outside the window. My nerves can’t take it anymore. “Is that all?!” I blurt out. He snickers in the same, arrogant sort of way all demons seem to snicker. God, I hate them all.
“Just be careful, okay?” In an instant he’s gone, leaving only a scene Columbus at night; the window drops back down with a soft thud.
Beyond pissed off, I sit back down on my chair, my head rested in my hands. Who does he think he is? They don’t have anything on me. I smirk, knowing how awfully clever I am. But, when I look up, I realize a mistake.
Before my eyes, sitting on the floor in front of the wall, is a solid cube, almost translucent, but unmistakably there. “Shit…” I mutter, before shaking my head and heading to the bathroom to clean up for Sarah.


~Chris

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

An Endless Wait

Hey guys! Jonathan here. I know it's been a couple weeks since my last post but I'm finally back and with new pieces so I hope you enjoy!


                                               

    Time after time I look up at the clock
When I look up the clock mocks me "Tick tock"
The noise is stuck in my mind and i can't get it out
The uneending silence just makes me want to shout

I have other things to do and I just want to leave
To practice with my band is one of these
I have nothing to do so I sit here being patient
When I get out I fear I may be ancient

Time is nearly up but I still can't take the wait
If I don't get out soon I may forget the date.
I don't know when I'll be out of here, soon I hope
Just a little while longer and I'll be out of an endless wait



Tuesday, May 14, 2013

A poem about spring

"Oval Beach"


The sun peaks.
Crowds wander into the open.
Oval-shaped field;
Three strikes upon the happy clock.

Cheerful faces.
They’ve had enough of school life.
All rejoice.
“The beach” gives the wanted escape.

Balls, frisbees.
Games litter space between buildings.
Cheers erupt.
Like “young volcanoes” they won’t stop.

Buckeyes watch.
“Buckeyes” play the same, no question.
Trees growing.
Summer comes but ”spring” never leaves.

The sun sets.
Darkness dawns upon the students’ “beach.”
Crowds thin out.
None will forget about tomorrow.



~Chris

Sunday, May 12, 2013

The House


Hey guys it's Sabrina Black
This piece was a thrill to make it was one I just decide to make out of writters inspiration. It's going to be a scary ride enjoy!



Echoes

 

Tick tock Tick Tock

Creak Creak Creak Creak

Sitting alone in an empty house

Everything silences it as quiet as a mouse

Bang Bang Bang the door or the window

 

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Creak Creak Creak Creak

Whispers of past conversations

Ghosts have come with invitations

Bang Bang Bang they walk across the floor

 

 

TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

CREAK CREAK CREAK CREAK

They are coming to get me

I pray on my knees

BANG BANG BANG the door busts

Silence


Sabrina Black

 

 




Monday, May 6, 2013

Stuck

Hey guys it's Sabrina Black ever feel like the past has caught up to you or caged you in. This piece describes that is is difficult to leave the past but you gotta ask your self that question why hang on to the past it's just a piece of trash to be thrown away.


“Past”

This room is cold
There is no life
No dreams of comfort
No air to breath ​
It's dark and I am weary
Wood creaks and rocks
Scratching along the walls
Death knocks on the door
My body’s paralyzed
Nowhere to run
Nowhere to hide
No more days
To laugh and play
Time to leave this world of gray
~Sabrina Black



Friday, May 3, 2013

A Forgotten Memory

              My memories are locked away. Kept safe and hidden from all but myself. they are all in plain sight of my vision. Each memory locked inside like a criminal behind bars. They all stand in view of my gaze. All of them in line. But one cell is empty. Emptied of everything but the air we breath. The memory is gone. Forgotten. A remnant of the past. Is it lost forever? Will it ever come back? But then again, why would it return? Why would it return to being locked away in my mind, kept from the world? In order to find it I must hunt it down. But I won't know where to look. I won't know if it is the memory I am looking for. I remember nothing of it. I will never remember it. The memory is gone. The memory is forgotten.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Giving Thought to the Thoughtless

"Lovers" by ~nutti

"Star-Crossed Lovers"

It was the times that saved us.
Good lord, how we’d be lost without them. Each fleeting moment that I may sleep with eyes peeled upon the dirty thoughts which encapsulate you. By my side is where you belong. I can’t make excuses for anything else.
It was the moment that caught us.
The touch of my fingers upon your waiting flesh. My tongue upon each inch of you, if only to make you scream. In pleasure, we laugh and tears fall upon soiled bed spreads. Solely love could elicit such a response.
It was our minds that made us.
Dear, all the fears had by those which bound us this Earth were maddening. Intolerable or insufferable, I couldn’t possibly make excuses for them. The thoughts that they through upon us were just. Only our minds could make them morbid.
It was temptation which bound us.
Old routines faded into lives, not once as free as the previous day. To gain back the passion of succor from your lonely soul, my lonely bones, would be too great a feat. Alas, embraces starve us for want of more.
It was the lies that broke us.
The name of that other man or the mistress onto which I held. Grimy fingers gripping tight the space that had birthed our love. Torn at souls too big to understand, the fist fights late at night urge me to make more demands.
It was the poison that ended “us.”

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Taken

Hey guys it's Sabrina Black this weeks piece is about a guy who fell in love with a girl but she was blind little did she know about the things kept hidden. That is how things had been stolen and taken from her by a snake.




“Stolen Love, Friend and Happiness"

You came, swept me off my feet, made love burst in the veins of my body. Our love made more history than time could tell. You made me feel like I could fly forever more into happiness.
Then came dark secrets, whispers of your unspoken lies revealed your true colors. It drew me apart from you. As time went on, finding the other half was easy for you, the one I called friend.
By your desires, you cheat in the night. Losing my friend entirely you STOLE her from me as a thief in the night. Blinded by my love for you, I drew myself towards you in the time you needed me.
I did everything for you; made it possible for your will to live. Until the past you created caught up and broke the heart that was STOLEN by your slimy cold hands.
A day passed and you prayed on another; She too left the scum of you days after. As the month slowly flowed on by, I had moved on from the dark ages. Found someone to bring me more happiness.

Your mind got tortured by my happiness. Jealously whispered "Hurt her." in your ear "Away with him." For weeks on you ease-dropped and followed me everywhere to bully my state of mind. As a snake would.
You took me and caged me in a chamber of tortures ‘till I couldn't take it anymore. I gave in and only had one choice to stop you; break my happiness' heart.
You STOLE him from me. Hearing this made your evil smile come back, knowing you had won.
Now I hide alone in shadow, invisible as a ghost waiting for my chance to come and triumph.

Sabrina Black APLIW

Friday, April 26, 2013

Some Fresh Memories

"Forgotten Memories" by WiciaQ


This next piece is slightly different. As with much of my poetry nowadays, it's born from a free-write without much purpose. I start out with a line or topic and see where it leads me. This is among one of the current pieces in which I've tried to recapture some sort of meter in my writing and struck me as a great release for political frustration.

Definitely let me know what you think





"Forlorn Tribute"



Past crimes pile up

Memories are born from flames

Bridges crumble now

A mind that is far from tame



Lessons learned in a night

Tragedies born by day

Cancers cured instantly

Souls still burn far away



Stunted from real life

Wings clipped before youth

Cry out for succor

Lies are born anew



Sunder the careless moments

Tear drops fall like fresh rain

Sour eyes can’t pick-up sorrow

Clean hands can’t feel the pain



A life is worth living

Living falls under lost time

Time follows nothingness

Nothingness ends the rhyme



~Chris

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

A Shattered Heart

Hey guys it's Jonathan! This piece of mine is just something I decided to write after I had experienced a bad heart break. It's a little depressing but it conveys my exact emotions at the time it happened. Hope you guys have better luck with love!


         My heart is broken. My heart is shattered. Shattered into a million pieces. Never again will my heart recover. Never again will the pieces be put back together. Piece by piece my heart falls to the ground. My heart break so devastating I can hear it as my heart cracks. Like glass, my heart is fragile. Like glass, my heart is shattered. Like shattered glass, my heart may never be made whole again.


Monday, April 22, 2013

Four Sides of the Same Coin



"Split" by `PorcelainPoet


Some of my first poetry experimented with the idea of a "dual-voice." Often, types of such work can be witnessed en masse in conjunction with introverted dialogue. However, I generally felt as if many of the works didn't capture the the image I was looking for. 
As such, my dual-voice poetry took the form of two characters discussing life and, in general, working to a concise resolution of problem (with both characters being different sides of one individual). I always enjoyed creating those kind of pieces. So, when "Four Minds for Self-Consideration" emerged from a random free-write, I was ecstatic! Two voices at each others' throats while two others talk about life in an overly-dramatic, but symbolic, fashion. I find it almost hilarious, honestly, but I'll leave you all to your interpretations.



"Four Minds for Self-Consideration"

The Ignorant

Loneliness was once the subject of life. Isolation claimed the place of interpretation. For all it’s worth, neither were true. Friends crushed the loneliness. Self-acceptance cured the isolation. Yet, words from this pen still claim:
“Everything’s the same.”
What kind of mind curses itself so readily? How many trials escape time to prove a difference? Answers are harsh, but the lies held inside are cannibalistic. The worlds this pen describes can’t sustain the night. But worried minds can’t hold onto the light.

The Analytic

Like a black hole, feelings collapse without a hair; without a trace to mark their names. Given recollection of the past, nothing can remain. Lost and forlorn, in purgatory, they must wander. Hollow and alone, the mind must now wonder where the times went.
A life without emotion stains the mind and soul alike. Like eternal indecision, the universe can’t decide the meaning of this moment or the next. Losing all subjectivity would be the true test.

The Cynic

Speaking once of tragedy, these lips couldn’t counter the heart. From the start, the brain had no voice. Still, the brain has no voice. “Friends crushed the loneliness.” Everything’s the same… “Self –acceptance cured the isolation.”Everything is the same! Are you blind or just delusional?
Happiness is a topic well-worn. Depression is a matter beaten to a pulp. Truth needs to share itself among the ignorant, if only to understand the brain’s point of view. All the same, your insisting has no value; your light has no lux. Give in to the fate ahead of you or die in the struggle to retain your air of arrogance.

The Hopeful

Just as a supernova, I’ll explode beautifully onto the scene. Leave behind the smaller star that I am inside. True intentions will show in the end in their most dedicated form. Oh, how anticipation rises at the thought of a day when balance will be reached. Let the event horizon from the former hole escape into the next dimension.
Space is so much emptier with its disappearance. One day, all these decisions will form regrets, but peace….Ah! Peace! It’s wonderful, and no substitution could replace the calm after the storm of tragic waves from the unknown.




Best regards,

Chris

Friday, April 19, 2013

Pulled out

Hey guys it's Sabrina Black this story is quite unique it's a story of coming out of darkness and into the light trying to make it I hope you guys like it!



“Lost and Found”

Here I am in the deepest pit of despair all curled up in a ball trying to protect myself from any more harm, out bursts of pain, or from my shattered heart.
I try to break free of the chains weighing me down. Every night, tears spill and pour into an up-roaring river of the ever flowing bash of bricks against my heart. I lost all hope in my will to move or the drive to see tomorrow’s message of hope.
At the top of the pit I see light but none gives me warmth down here. But what's this? A ladder leading down to my cold bed. A familiar voice says: "Grab it and don't let go." Weakness is holding me back from holding on to the ladder.
Using the last of my strength I have the voice pulls me up. As I reach the break of day I see you, my love; you have found me at last.


Sabrina Black APLIW

Thursday, April 18, 2013

My Crumbling World



          My life is hell. My world is crumbling around me. When will it be rebuilt? Is it even possible anymore? Day after day my pain and sadness grow. Time after time I am hurt. Every time I am hurt it is worse than the last. I admit I've mad mistakes. I admit I've done wrong. My past actions, however, do not give anyone, no matter who they are, the  right to blame me for related actions in the present when I am not responsible. At this point in my life I have lost all hope of anything getting better. I've lost all hope of anything good happening ever again. My life has turned upside down. Kept away from my lover. Betrayed and played by my friends. Lied to and unloved by my family. Rejected by society. My world may have ended, but my life will continue to grow.What will it grow into? More pain and suffering? Will it finally grow into the happiness I've not felt for so long a time? I long for that happiness. Although, with how things are in my life I know I will be in my state of depression for a time which will feel unending. I am the only one who can help me anymore. But I don't know if I will. At this point in my hellish life I have but two options; to let the pain and depression continue to a point of no return, or to finally stop my world from crumbling around me. My choice will soon be made. Now only one question remains: what will my choice be?

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

A Trial by Fire

"Flying" by *MindTuber


For anyone following me on Tumblr, this may not exactly be a "new" piece, but it's too relevant to leave to one blog alone. 
Life often leaves us in scenarios too dangerous to stay. It's unfortunate that we may stay in them regardless. To that point, I continue writing and fleshing out why it is that such pain is all too enjoyable. Yet, regardless, the heart which beats in my chest can't possibly hold out against such misery for long. 
Maybe that's why the title of this piece makes so much sense...


"Fuck..."

The times, they flew away
With the sanity I’d been holding
For two people, me and you
It’s no walk in the park
Only a jury by fire, with acts
Like you never knew
Tired thoughts, drift away
To the sea containing hope
Or painful years lost
With one word, it’s all lost
And, no, I can’t take the tears
Or the unbelievable cost


~Chris

Saturday, April 13, 2013

A Heart's Dream



"Dreaming"

A heart in one hand, a dream in the other. The dream once rested upon the branches of the largest tree Eden had ever seen. The heart, barely identifiable from the scars it displays.  

 But a heart and a dream, nonetheless, exist I'm such proximity that the latter consoles the former and the former teaches the latter. In such a way, a life is formed; a bond is shared. Love would be soon to follow.  

I guess, not love in the traditional sense, but a friendship lingering on the fence and tilting ever so slightly to one side. Knowing the joys of Eden, the dream could never accept anything else; knowing of the heart's pain, it couldn't bear to indulge in anything more than the friendship, of course.  

"What a shame," thought the heart, "what I have to give is more precious than these scars our the branches of any tree. The paradise which runs out my veins trumps any sensation a dream could ever want." But the dream doesn't see. No, only the clouds grace its vision; memories slant its future.  

"It is time," said the dream one day, "to return home." And with that, their time was lost and a hand was left empty. Unable to bear such a trial, the heart removed the stitches governing its scars, in hopes to join the dream in the end.  

 But, no, no heart nor dream is to be found. 

Friday, April 12, 2013

A Dream

Hey guys it's Sabrina Black this weeks piece is about finding that calm safe place where you can escape from the fractures of life. It's created by your mind it's what ever you want it to be. But how could you love such a place and be so alone.

“Safe Place”

Close your eyes with me and take a journey to your heart and soul. Your secrets that you keep locked up are unwelcome. We won't need those barriers of life where we're going.
Take my hand and fly with me; we are going to a Safe Place. Now think of somewhere you would yearn to get to.
Keep your eyes closed now. Picture a landscape of green meadows fresh with dew; wild flowers and daises are abundant.
Look over there at the mountains you've created; a giant waterfall flowing into a river into a lake full of fish. Look to your left a weeping willow welcomes you to hide in the curtains of its leaves, to read in or sleep as you listen to the birds’ songs ring through the sky. Hear that approaching us with great speed? It’s a herd of horses here to bring you nothing but awe.
But something is missing, a friend, a love. How could you be so alone in a dream of something you love?

Sabrina Black APLIW

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Falling into Place

"Climb" by ~mickeybob00

Hey guys it's Aulene!!!
This week's piece is about me and how my life is really crazy right now with graduating, getting a job, getting a car, moving, etc... (You get the point.) I hope I am writing to those who understand my struggle in this.

 Leave a comment below telling me your situation like this.
I love you guys so much! Thank you all for all the support!!!

Buy our book and help support us!
Life in Fiction: Words From the Underrated



Falling into Place


Once in a blue moon
You are blessed with a gift

Some choose to follow this gift
To see where it leads

Others choose to stay
Stay in their safe place

Some fall into something great
And don't know what to do with it

Some are pushed into situations
And fall because they are too scared to jump


That's how I am
Hi, My name is Aulene

I am no different than you
Or anyone else

I am willing to admit it
I am scared

I fell into this situation called life
And I don't know what to do

I was pushed into this place called the world
And I am lost

I have fallen in this place
And I don't know how to get up

I can see the end of my struggle
But it's far away

The light is at the top of this cavern
And I am at the dust covered bottom

I just want to give up
But then again, I want to climb

I want to get to the top of this cavern
And say "I did it!"

So I took my first step
And so began my journey

One step at a time
Things are FINALLY falling into place




~Aulene

~APLIW


Friday, April 5, 2013

Tragic Loss

Hey guys it's Sabrina Black this week has been emotionally scaring my great grandma died recently but this piece is related not only to my loss but for everyone who has gotten a horrible call that at the other end all you is their gone. Just know not to give all hope up and a friend told me that she would like me to be happy and not grieve.
Enjoy!

“The Call”

Every summer I see you
Your loving face
The sound of your voice comforts me
It's the song of love ringing through the sky
You held me as a baby
Now you watched me grow
You whispered in my ear that you’re proud of me
The hugs you give are warm they keep me safe from harm

As time goes on we grow old
You just turned 92 and still strong as an ox
Then you whispered: I feel pain my body is weak and slowing down
My time is coming for me to be with him
Those are the words that pound in my heart
Knowing the time is coming
I don't want to believe that you’re leaving

I want you to stay here holding me
Kissing me on the forehead goodnight
Spending the day with laughs
Letting you go is hard on me and my family
The beeps of the hospital bed finally rang
You lay so peacefully sleeping as we watched you
Day by day waiting for the moment to cry and weep

March 30th Easter Sunday at 10:20 am
You breathed your last breath
*ring *ring *ring
Of the telephones
A voice on the other end
Whispers: She's gone.

RIP Nanny


Thursday, April 4, 2013

Signs

I see signs all around me. I've been seeing them in my every day life recently and it got me encouraged to wright this small piece. Enjoy!

       The are all around us. They are always there but rarely seen. Hardly ever heard. They are the words which we read in books. They are the noises which we hear in the air around us. They are not always easily recognized, yet still always there. These things which are all around us are signs. These signs determine our every day life. They help us make choices. They can change those choices. They can also change our lives. They can change our lives for the better, or they can change our lives for the worst. It all depends on the sings we choose to follow. So, which signs will you follow? Which signs will you let determine your every day life? Your choice in anything can lead you to a good outcome. But be warned, for it also can lead you to a bad one. Choose wisely.



Monday, April 1, 2013

Deadly Thoughts

Hello guys. I apologize for the long period of time it took to post one of my pieces. My internet was turned off. But i finally have it ready. I hope you guys enjoy it!

   
        My life has changed. My life is still changing. I've gone through hell. I've felt pain. I've seen my own blood. Because of my recently hellish life, I've had thoughts. Thoughts of things I never knew I could think of. Things I never wanted to think of. I've suppressed these thoughts for as long as I possibly could. I tried to keep these thoughts within the recesses of my mind. I've done my best to keep them locked away. But they have escaped. These dark thoughts of mine, which were once locked away, now control my life. I fear they may do worse. I fear they may end my life. I fear for the worst for that is all which is possible for me anymore. What is to become of me? Will I lose the last few things that matter to me in my life? Will  I leave my friends behind? What will they think? And what of the love of my life? Am I truly willing to hurt him so much, simply to ease my own suffering? There is no telling what I will do. There is no telling what will happen to me. These deadly thoughts in my mind have made me their victim. I have no control over my thoughts as I once did. Will things ever be so easy for me again? Will my life stay in a state of depression as it has? There's no way I can know for sure. Although these deadly thoughts of mine lean towards continued depression. I can only hope to be rid of these deadly thoughts. It is the only way I can continue my own life.