Wednesday, December 29, 2010

You Will Go to the Paper Towns and You Will Not Come Back

I am invisible in
of my strings are broken.

That day, when I left, you told me you’d call. You told me you’d write. You told me you’d never forget me.
But in the end… you did.
I cannot tell anymore what is real, what is reality, between what is in my mind, my heart, my fictional case of insanity.
By the way, take no blame that my ship is sinking. You never did before, so why start now?
It is true, I should get over my broken cracked still breaking heart. What happens to the people who can’t let go and move on? They let go of themselves.
So maybe I can become this bitter fucking bitch of a person who cares about and loves nothing at all. Rip the band-aid off that is my life.
Few people truly care now-days and I will never be the person my parents think I am. I will never be the person someone will drive for 21 hours from Orlando to New York.
I got to… I have to… I need to leave. I need to leave me and become a new person. “I need a beginning again. I wanna feel how I used to feel. When everything was in the palm of my hand and you were here with me.”
Please just tell me everything is going to be alright. Just tell me that right before my roots are pulled from the entanglement somebody else’s roots will grab hold of mine and not let go.

So in the end… I do miss you.

if you didn't recognize in the title, this was a personal response to a novel by the author John Green.

maybe i'm right, maybe i'm wrong, loving you dear like i do. if it's a crime then i'm guilty, guilty of loving you.

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